Freshman Year Reflection
When prompted to give an honest reflection about why I believe I am ready for the 10th grade, its hard to believe that I do not know where to begin. This year I have really grown as an individual and I am beginning to really see the kind of student I am.
Although I learned little about physics during the term we had Brian Delgado, I did learn a lot of great life skills. I learned about tolerance, patience, and most importantly, never voluntarily bring students to your small apartment to cook in your kitchen. Brian will forever have a wonderful place in my heart. I am very thankful I had an opportunity to really learn what life is about. He opened a lot of our eyes to the possibilities of our world. I am a closed-minded person. I like set dates, whole numbers, and especially complete answers. I really hate to think about the “unknowns” or the “maybes” of life. That changed this year with Brian’s numerous youtube videos. Because of Brian, I feel like I know have a greater sense of tolerance of others; other people, other ways of thinking, I guess.
I am also really thankful for Jake Plaskett. I can honestly say that I have learned a lot from his class. Definitely math, but also problem solving strategies, and a better way to take notes. For whatever reason, math “clicked” this year. I have always struggled with basic math. I’m actually really embarrased to say that. Everyone expects me to be “smart”- whatever that means. Passing a class does not mean you are ‘smart’, it just means you are smart enough to find a way around failing. I really strive to push myself to understand the content (which I do!), but a lot of my main struggles come from just basic adding and multiplying skills. I have spent countless hours in his “office”. Mainly venting about issues that don’t really matter, but that’s another story.
Maria Mctighe has also played a large role my freshman year, considering a large portion of the freshman class thinks that we are related. It feels odd to be able to say that I learned more in her class than in three years at HTMMA. I am happy that our class was given an opportunity to have a basic run-down on a lot of the programs we will be using the rest of our time here at HTH. I have an understanding that next school year, the freshmen will not get multimedia.
I lastly want to mention Colleen Green. I really saw a lot of growth with my writing this year in her class. I feel like a lot of this year I did not push myself as hard as I should have in her class though. When I am in her class, I always feel as if I am supposed to be inspired, or something. Like someone is supposed to say something meaningful. Throughout the three main projects we did this school year, I feel like each were meaningful in their own way. It is really interesting to be able to see a dramatic difference in the quality of work I have produced between the Inner Warrior project and our most recent Renaissance project. Not just in my writing, but also in my art. Writing papers are really nice and all, because you can tell someone that you spent time to write a decent paper, and usually they will nod their heads and smile at your 700 word essay. Art however, is a lot different. Because its there. People already see it. They are already judging it. It’s kind of like they are judging you; but they are not. I think.
Anyway, I just really want to say that freshman year kind of sucked. Socially and all. All the adults I talk to tell me that High School is the best four years of my life. So far, not at all. Kids can be really mean. But its mean-ness out of ignorance and boredom. Even I know that. Some students really just need to be slapped across the face, to be honest. Academically, this year also kind of sucked. I was disappointed about the “learning” part in Physics this year. Darrell’s class was not that enjoyable. I felt like the physics was just kind of a “by the way, here you go” kind of thing. I really could have done a lot better in many areas this year. Looking back, it really shows where the “half-ass” is. I really don’t understand why I just took the minimum a lot of the year. I know what I am capable of. I know that I am able to produce amazing and quality work.
My generic answer to most things is that I am “asian” and my family really has high standards for me. Thats not really true. I am only half Filipino. And my mom, being a single parent, with her oldest child who didn’t do ‘the best’ in High School, is glad to be able to receive anything she gets. I hold myself to high standards because I want somebody to be proud of me. I want people to look at me and just think I am amazing. That’s all anyone wants, right? Nobody strives to be second. I really strive to bring “exemplary” work. I want future students to look up to me as “that damn great student”. I guess.
At this point, I am just rambling and really, just wasted your time by having you read that.
I am ready to become a sophomore at High Tech High because I am capable. After this year, I really know that I can do a lot of things, and I am just being a scaredy-cat about life. I’m scared about becoming an adult; for most of my life everything was just done for me. I am now realizing that I am on my own and need to just “get on the ball” and start rolling. I need to become more independent (as crazy as that sounds) and just basically get it together. I know what needs to be done- actually I have always known what needs to be done. I am just a lazy teenager with no real set priorities.
A lot of people suggest that I just really need to “dig deep” and find motivation. Find what “motivates” me. What motivates me is other people. This year I have really come to the realization that I am a ‘people pleaser’. I just want positive attention. Almost like a dog. Actually, exactly like a dog. All this time, I have been doing things for other people. So I can get a “Good Job!’. I really need to start doing things for myself.
That is why I should go on to the tenth grade. I do not need to go on a journey to come to a realization I have already discovered. A lot of what we learn in school sadly, will probably not be used if the future. I believe that we learn all this to basically learn “how to learn” (if that makes sense). School is preparing you for the real world. The process of becoming a young adult may be long and tedious, but I really want to thank you for becoming a part of mine. So much inspiration has come out of you, Colleen. Thank you for a phenomenal freshman year and I wish you the best at HTHI.